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Kasia Urbaniak has mastered the dominant position with men, and is a master at unpicking power dynamics. What started as an online discussion group is now, thanks in part to Donald Trump, Harvey Weinstein and MeToo, a booming business.

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With courses titled Power With Men, Foundations of Power offered as part of her introductory monthlong seminar, Urbaniak is an emerging star of the movement. As a professional dominatrix, Urbaniak has mastered the dominant — dom — position with men, and is a master at unpicking power dynamics.

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And over the past two years, the news cycle has delivered almost daily updates to the subject at hand. Women are too often taught to acquiesce; they shut-down, they minimize. They do it at work, at home, in the bedroom, at work, anywhere, in fact, where their paths cross with men. As Urbaniak sees it, the solution is relatively simple: the key is to turn the attention back outwards.

Are you having a fantasy girls dominatrix now? What good would it do for you to know how old I am? Are you looking for a mother? Does just talking about yourself normally work for you?

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More power to her! Elaine, a Brooklyn-based poet in her 40s, recently attended a session hosted by Urbaniak. She says she felt conditioned to not ask for too much. But that, she says, girls dominatrix everybody feeling short-changed. But women are often in the submissive — sub — position, with attention turned inwards on their feelings and experience.

The turning point for this student, as it has been for many women, was Donald Trump. The presidential debates, she observed, became a kind of master class in dysfunctional power dynamics. They try to level with people or be equal. Women, she points out, will go inward first. There are advantages to the submissive position being self-aware, for instancebut not when it comes to expressions of leadership.

Whatever she said felt like a lie. The dungeon, she explains, is an interesting space to observe this. Can you imagine that? In the same vein, some women have not felt able to ask for what they need in the workplace. So where does this leave men? I think silence on both sides is incredibly dangerous. Urbaniak says she would like women to be allies girls dominatrix men and to be curious about their experience. Want to be more assertive in life?

This former dominatrix will show you how. Kasia Urbaniak was, she says, one of the highest-paid dominatrices in Manhattan before deciding to focus on female empowerment. Photograph: Henny Garfunkel.

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