What is subspace bdsm

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Those in the BDSM community often say they understand consent more than most people, because they regularly discuss it. For instance, I know a Dom and his submissive who had agreed that there would be no penetrative sex during what is subspace bdsm BDSM play. When she had entered a subspace, though, she was so lost in her transcendental state that she wanted to have sex. He had to use their safeword in order to enforce their boundaries and stop the play before it went too far. Ever since I started engaging in and researching kink, the altered state of mind associated with the subspace has fascinated me.

Great, another esoteric term to learn. Subspace is a state of transcendence that many subs enter during BDSM play. Through some combination of sensory deprivation blindfolds, ball gags, restraintsand pain play whips, paddles, floggersthe mind may transport a submissive to a different mental plane.

When pre-negotiated pain is being inflicted on a submissive, subspace is often a release from the pain which leaves the sub euphoric. In a word, hormones. That als the brain to activate a fight-or-flight response, causing the body to release stress hormones like epinephrine and cortisol. A chain reaction follows.

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Increased cortisol levels induce the release of more hormones like endorphins and enkephalinswhich are natural chemicals that can boost pain tolerance while increasing the pleasurable, floaty feelings of euphoria. The parasympathetic nervous system is also activated, creating relaxed and calm feelings in the brain and throughout the body.

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When the scene ends, hormones drop. A caring Dom will provide whatever aftercare is needed, during the several hours after a scene.

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For many submissives, subspace is the ultimate goal in a BDSM scene. Shaffer explains that having positive experiences with subspace can help people develop deeper bonds with partners and work through any trust issues they may have. Many do. After all, in subspace the submissive may have trouble making informed decisions about issues like penetrative sex or the length of a punishment session. The responsibility a Dom has for their sub goes beyond subspace. Lola Jean tells me that subspace and dissociation can appear similar in the physiological responses they create closed eyes, non-responsive, dream-like.

Assuming you have taken the time to understand what type of aftercare they respond best to, you can apply this here as well.

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This aftercare should be also discussed in advance. While subspace may sound like a totally foreign concept to someone outside of the kink community, it sheds light on the importance of consent in all types of sexual relationships. Both consent and boundaries should be discussed beforehand, not figured out or ignored in the heat of the moment. Boundaries are boundaries. We need to learn how to set them, accept them, and respect them. Use mindfulness to have the best sex ever in the on-demand workshop Mindful Sexled by Dr.

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What is subspace? What causes someone to get into subspace? Can Doms enjoy subspace? The difference between subspace and a dissociative mental state The responsibility a Dom has for their sub goes beyond subspace. How subspace can deepen our understanding of consent While subspace may sound like a totally foreign concept to someone outside of the kink community, it sheds light on the importance of consent in all types of sexual relationships.

Gigi Engle is a certified sex coach, sexologist, educator, and writer living in London. Share: Facebook icon Twitter icon. Swell in your inbox, every week Newsletter Up. More from Do It Better. Here are ways to share your desires with your new partner. Get more like this in your inbox Newsletter Up. Close Icon Sexual wellness stories in your inbox, every week. Newsletter Up .

What is subspace bdsm

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Subspace: What It Is, Why It’s Hot, and How to Get There